My white girlfriend recently said to me: “Sam, thank you for never making me feel bad about being white.”

She said that because in 2020 my skin colour isn’t the most controversial pigment in our relationship—her skin colour is.

Our culture in 2020 doesn’t tell me to feel guilty about my skin colour. Our culture doesn’t tempt her to be ashamed of my skin colour. Our culture doesn’t encourage others to assume the worst about me—I’m not white. 

Earlier this week, a clip of Nick Cannon making racist comments about white people received a disturbing amount of support from many black people on social media. In the clip, Nick Cannon suggested white people are genetically and morally inferior to black people.

And as I explained last week, White Fragility is one of the bestselling books right now, even though it’s probably the most anti-white book I’ve ever read. 

Making white people feel bad about being white is becoming the norm. Racism against white people is becoming acceptable. 

Today, anti-black racism is considered a repulsive sin. Anti-white racism, however, is considered a respectable sin. In fact, anti-white racism has become so respectable, many of us no longer label it as sin. Instead, we’re increasingly labeling anti-white racism as righteousness. 

For instance, the whole world has seemingly accepted the narrative that George Floyd was murdered by Derek Chauvin because of racism—strictly because of Derek Chauvin’s skin colour. 

A few years ago, as I was walking through a tunnel at a train station, I saw a white woman walking towards me from the other end of the tunnel.

We were the only people in the tunnel. So when she saw me walking toward her, she immediately placed her head down, clutched her purse, hurried to the other side of the tunnel, and rushed past me.

I was offended. I had no intention of doing anything other than greeting her with a smile. But I believed that just like many white people—especially white women—throughout history, she was suspicious and threatened by me because of my skin colour. 

However, when I reached the other end of the tunnel, I realized I was also suspicious of her because of her skin colour. I realized just as she may have suspected I was a criminal because I’m black, I suspected she was racist because she’s white.

Did she assume the worst of me because I’m black? Maybe. I don’t know. But I know I assumed the worst of her because she’s white. 

If she was a black woman, I wouldn’t have assumed she was a racist. If she was a black woman, I would have been more considerate and more sympathetic—I would have perceived her reaction as a natural reaction from a small woman in a vulnerable environment with a large and unknown man. 

But because she’s white, I initially believed the only explanation for her actions was racism. That doesn’t mean she isn’t racist. Maybe she is. I don’t know. But even if she may have assumed the worst of me, without evidence, God commands me to assume the best of her.

God doesn’t instruct us to repay evil for evil or racism for racism. God doesn’t instruct black people to assume the worst of white people because some white people assume the worst of black people.

The Bible says: “finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.” (1 Peter 3:8-9)

God commands black people like me to assume the best of white people, even if some white people assume the worst of black people like me. If I didn’t obey that, I couldn’t love my girlfriend. And if I didn’t obey that, my girlfriend wouldn’t feel loved by me.

After I commented on Nick Cannon’s racist words earlier this week on social media, many black people made racist comments against my girlfriend.

They made her feel bad about being white—just as some white people make black people feel bad about being black. 

Racism is a vicious cycle that would be stopped if we refused to repay evil for evil—racism for racism. 
However, we continue to repay black supremacy for white supremacy, anti-white racism for anti-black racism. 

And therefore in 2020, my white girlfriend thanks me for never making her feel bad about being white. Just as I would thank her for never making me feel bad about being black if we lived in 1920.