I recently published a vague post on X (or Twitter) this week. The tweet said:
“I had to discipline my son tonight. It’s not the first time, but I’m heartbroken. It’s necessary, but I hate it so much. It’s especially difficult since he’s such a good boy. He’s such an easy boy to parent. But he’s still a sinner, and since I love him, I must discipline him.”
Thousands of atheists and progressive “Christians” on social media are accusing me of hurting and abusing my nearly 5-month-old son. Some believers have also resorted to all kinds of assumptions and accusations.
I’m deeply disappointed with these people. I should have known I was too vague. I should have known better. I’ve explained my foolish tweet to a few sincere people who’ve reached out to me in love, but I think it’s good for me to write this article to explain what my tweet was about.
When I said I had to discipline my son, I meant I had to do sleep training. It’s really as simple as that. I wish I had used the word “sleep training” instead of “discipline,” but I couldn’t remember the word. Even when I was trying to explain what I really meant in my tweet to some people, I said “sleeping habits” and “disciplining him in terms of bedtimes.”
Since I wasn’t familiar with the term until recently, I couldn’t remember it when I was writing my tweet. So I used a word (discipline) that is generally synonymous with the word “training.”
So what I should have said was:
“I had to sleep train my son tonight. It’s not the first time, but I’m heartbroken. It’s necessary, but I hate it so much. It’s especially difficult since he’s such a good boy. He’s such an easy boy to parent. But he’s still a sinner, and since I love him, I must sleep train him.”
On that night, my son was unusually difficult. He was very sleepy, but though he had a clean diaper and a full belly, he wouldn’t stop crying no matter how I held him. So I figured I should place him in his crib. I decided to let him cry in his crib momentarily—which was very hard for me. I was heartbroken knowing he wanted me to pick him up, but I thought it was necessary. Moments later, he fell asleep and stayed asleep until the morning.
That’s it. That’s what my tweet was about. I hated hearing him cry in the crib. I wish I didn’t have to do that. I love my son, and I love rocking him to sleep. But I knew it was necessary. I was teaching him how to sleep on his own. That’s all. I assumed that kind of sleep training falls under the umbrella of “discipline.”
You see, my father abandoned me before I was born, being a bad father is something I’m deeply afraid of. Before my son was born, I was anxious that since my father didn’t love me, perhaps I also wouldn’t love my son.
But to my joy, I adore my son, by the grace of God. I would never abandon him or harm him in any way. I desperately want to be a good father to him. I want to discipline him in appropriate ways, which is what scripture commands.
Though I deeply regret my tweet—I trust the sovereignty and providence of God. I know this is good for me. Whatever people think of me, God will use it for good.