Beware of people who act like they hate sexual sin more than God hates it. They have a lot in common with people who act like they love LGBT people more than God loves them.
Like progressive “Christians”, hyper-patriarchists think they know better than God.
The Bible says, “He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous are both alike an abomination to the LORD.” (Proverbs 17:15)
In other words, Progressive “Christians” who justify LGBT sin and hyper-patriarchists who condemn formerly promiscuous Christian women are both abominations to God.
Last week, Pastor Tom Buck shared a post on X saying:
“If someone argues that a former promiscuous woman is ‘damaged goods’ and questions whether a Christian young man should marry her, remember Rahab. She was a Canaanite prostitute but became a mother in the lineage of Jesus. God redeemed her, cleansed her, and Salmon married her.”
Most of the replies vilified Buck and disparaged formerly Christian promiscuous women as “whores, harlots, and damaged goods”. One notable leader also suggested that Tom Buck hates men.
The most famous reply came from Trevor Sheatz, who stated his wife’s promiscuous past and his virginity before marriage in a post about the power of the gospel in transforming lives and creating blessed marriages.
The post went viral, receiving over 35 million views and overwhelmingly disparaging comments against Trevor and his wife, Ashley.
People mocked Trevor for mentioning his wife’s past. But those of us who know Trevor and Ashley know he wasn’t exposing a secret. He was restating her public testimony. He wasn’t doing anything different from what the Biblical authors did by sharing Rahab’s past. Trevor wasn’t dishonouring his wife; he was honouring God.
The disparaging comments against Trevor were disappointing, but the most disturbing comments came from hyper-patriarchal men against Ashley. It revealed their animosity against women and their Pharisaical animosity against the gospel.
We shouldn’t downplay the consequences of past sexual activity on marriage. Fewer people would divorce their spouses in pursuit of new sexual partners if fewer people didn’t have sexual partners before marriage. There is a correlation between promiscuity before marriage and divorce. Divorce rates are high because promiscuity is high.
Past promiscuity can add burdens to marriages. This is one of the reasons why God forbids fornication. Trevor knows this. He didn’t deny this. In his post, he said, “A woman’s or man’s past sexual sin matters.”
Trevor’s phrasing is important. Fornication isn’t the only sexual sin that matters. Some women who are virgins or less promiscuous than others also joined the mob and attacked Trevor and Ashley. Some of these women seem to believe that sleeping with a boyfriend multiple times makes them so much better than women who sleep with multiple men.
Also, I am not convinced that female virgins who regularly watch porn are so much better than promiscuous women. People who have sex with themselves shouldn’t mock people who have sex with others.
Virginity isn’t meaningless. Our lives, families, churches, and society would be much better if the majority of us married as virgins. But our lives, families, churches, and society would be even stronger if we all repented from our sins like Ashley.
Studies show that 75% of Christian men and 40% of Christian women watch porn. Meaning, some of the Christian men and women who have attacked formerly promiscuous women watch porn. Some of these people have pleasured themselves to some of the most degrading, shameful, abominable acts online—but like the self-righteous Pharisee in the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector, they think they are morally superior to formerly promiscuous women.
People who mock Christian women over past sexual sins while they masturbate over current promiscuous women on OnlyFans are hypocrites who will give an account to God.
It’s evident that the disparaging comments from Groyper and Manosphere men are motivated by a hatred of women, not a hatred for sin. For example, Andrew Tate said:
“As the worlds first and original truly global misogynist I have yet to chime in on why women think they’re “born again” after being whores. I literally put so little value on anything women say or think, it’s not worth replying too. I respect the opinion of my dog or a random man I’ve never met 1000x more than the opinion of a women I’ve known for a decade. Nothing they say even enters my brain. They either do as I say or they get replaced. That’s it.”
And, “Everyone mocking [Trevor Sheatz] for marrying a whore is also married to a whore.”
We all know that if the roles were reversed and Ashley were a virgin and Trevor was formerly promiscuous, the reactions would have been radically different. But formerly promiscuous women are no different from formerly promiscuous men like me.
Feminists and hyper-patriarchists may have differing views on men and women who commit sexual sin, but God does not. All sexually immoral people, men or women, will suffer the wrath of God. And all sexually immoral people who repent and believe in Jesus are forgiven.
If you are a single Christian woman who used to be promiscuous, do not be discouraged. Some people might use your post against you, but your God says he has forgiven your sins and he doesn’t remember them anymore (Hebrews 8:12).
Jesus says you are more pure before God than unbelieving virgins (Matthew 5:8).
You are not damaged goods. Jesus has turned your ashes into a crown of beauty and transformed your promiscuity into purity.
If you are a single Christian man, do not let what you have read on social media this week keep you from marrying a godly woman who used to be promiscuous.
Virginity doesn’t promise a good marriage. It doesn’t say anything about the heart. It says something about the past, but not the future. Jezebel was probably a virgin when she married Ahab.
It’s better to marry a godly woman with a promiscuous past than a quarrelsome virgin. (Proverbs 25:24)
There is nothing wrong with wanting to marry a virgin. There is nothing wrong with having concerns about a woman with a history of sexual sin.
But you should know that there is also nothing wrong with marrying a formerly promiscuous Bride.
After all, the only wedding in heaven will be between a perfect Man and a formerly promiscuous Bride.